when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires
area 51 is just the american wizarding school
aliens is a perfect cover story
THAT WAS NO ALIEN THEY FOUND— THAT WAS A FUCKING HOUSE ELF.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YES!
Ravenclaws with huge communal bookshelfs that tower to the ceiling. It’s become tradition that when you leave Hogwarts, you leave behind a copy of your favorite book, so they have books dating back centuries.
so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
people who shower in under 5 minutes
water soap leg leg arm arm pit butt face rinse done
yo if u dont like musical theatre thats cool but if u actually insult musical theatre in my presence dude i wont even argue with you i’ll just kill and eat you
these are probably the best pies in london
d eathly hallows….. 7 years…… *disintegrates*